I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Watching her eat just hurts me
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
