Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
