Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize