Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
