Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
