Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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