Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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