Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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