I just saw a hot homeless man
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
