like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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