we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize