there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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