We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
