Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
