there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He felt like a one man threesome
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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