I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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