Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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