Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
