can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
