The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
