the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
