Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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