Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she looked like the before picture.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
