I can't watch pbs sober anymore
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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