Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The struggles of a small town man whore
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
