Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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