Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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