Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
this will be a night to untag.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
