She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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