This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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