oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize