i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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