i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The Olympian is in my bed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
