the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
