He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
