Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
how does that bad decision feel?
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