ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
