So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
