Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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