We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
