If that was your dad, he is hot
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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