why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
