And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
