what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize