She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
