First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
