i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
