She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
