I'm so fucking centered right now
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize