We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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