Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
that's an acceptable place to lick
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
