careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
