And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My dad just said "fuck circus"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
