This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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