It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
