I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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