girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
