try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
