going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
