Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
