hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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