I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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