i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
