We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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