dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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